Lockdown Life Lessons

“That March 7, when my wife Mariella, an Italian national, travelled to Milan to see her father, who had been fighting leukaemia for more than a year, seemed like just any other day. But no. It turned out to be the first day in what ended up being one of the most difficult times of our lives. While our six year-old daughter, Sophie, and I stayed here in Barcelona where we currently reside, Mariella landed in Milan, where her family informed her that her father, Pasquale, had been hospitalized due to a high fever. This is something quite normal for his condition, but sadly, it turned out to be the coronavirus. After two very uncertain days, he passed away. Unfortunately, because of his condition and the whole COVID-19 crisis, Mariella and her family were unable to be with him during his last moments; and due to the restrictions in the northern part of Italy – which started also a few hours after she landed –, the family hasn't yet had the chance to pay their respects and give him a proper farewell with a formal funeral. At this point, who knows when that can happen?

In the meantime, Sophie and I couldn't go and be with them, which in a normal situation would have been the right thing to do – but it was too risky. With the exception of my wife who hadn’t been in direct contact with her father, they had all been exposed to the coronavirus to some extent. At this point, we were not only unable to grieve all together as a family, we also didn't know how and when mamma was going to come back home. Even though being here might seem like the easiest part in this whole nightmare, for me it has become the most challenging time of my life.

I needed to support my daughter who, by the way, is extremely attached to her mamma, and who, like any other kid, is just looking for simple concrete answers. In the following days, Italy shut down the whole country, and flights between Italy and Spain were cancelled until further notice. Then, adding insult to injury, Mariella's mother, Pina, who was already going through the painful grieving process after losing her long-time partner and husband of 50 years, started to show symptoms of what might be COVID-19. However, sending her to hospital, the only place where she could be tested, was like a death sentence; rather like what had happened so sadly to her husband. Now there were more questions than ever: when is Mariella coming back; is her mother going to be okay; will Mariella be okay? ..."

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